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Ann Coulter Is An Ineffably Vile Human Being

Since 1998, Ann Coulter, licensed attorney and conservative commentator, has published a dozen books of cock-eyed, uncontextualized, hyperbolic right-wing hate.

In between she has made a number of controversial polemic statements, particularly that liberals “always root for savages against civilization,” that society would be better off if everybody practiced Christianity, because, “We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say;” and her characterization of abortion doctor Pat Tiller’s 2009 murder as “termination in the 203rd trimester.” She has also mentioned that women shouldn’t have the right to vote, as it inhibits the Republicans from electoral victory, that allowing civil liberties to Muslims will only “give Muslims a cushion for another attack on America,” and even had the gall to state that “gays are the opposite of blacks, [because] everybody likes the gays moving in next door.”

Although Coulter’s opinions are shocking, not least of which because they are mean-spirited, narrow-minded and downright, straight-up, flat-out WRONG, they are hardly surprising. In fact, even a basic glimpse into her life before her rise to fame as a Republican shill will only prove that it was depressingly inevitable that she would proudly cling to her wicked beliefs.

Though born in New York City, Ann Hart Coulter was raised in New Canaan, Connecticut, an isolated, affluent, WASPy hamlet in Fairfield County along the Metro North Railroad line, full of incredibly wealthy people. It is a place like something out of a John Cheever novel, where the sons receive cushy positions in their fathers’ companies as coming-of-age presents and the daughters are raised to be “the very best person they possibly can.”

Ann’s father, John Vincent Coulter, was an attorney for the Phelps Dodge Corporation, a mining company infamous for wreaking much ecological havoc, and sided with the scabs during a strike against the company in the 1980s. According to Coulter’s eulogy of him at the time of his death in 2008, he also spent several years as a FBI informant in New York City on the trail of communists during McCarthyism. Indeed, given her father’s values and the surroundings in which she was raised, it’s fair to say her background was rather privileged and quite far to the political right.

Without a doubt, this explains everything — her attitude that as long as she never had any unbelievably bad shit beat down on her like a ton of bricks, she need not care, her sense of self-justification for that specifically, and her sense of self-entitlement that manifested itself in the form of knowingly giving a false address on a voter registration form, deliberately voting at the wrong precinct in Palm Beach, Florida in the town election in February 2006 and hiring her ex-boyfriend, FBI Special Agent Jim Fitzgerald, to back off the local sheriff’s deputies and game the system so that the charges would be nullified by the two-year statute of limitations, which would save her from a $5,000 fine and/or five years in the pokey for voter fraud.

Apparently, for somebody who claims to love the United States of America so much, Ann Coulter seems to have far more love for herself and people of her class and background, considering her irrational aspersions towards whole swaths of the American population and her willingness to undermine the United States Constitution so that her side wins. Indeed, the rottenness of it all makes any sentient person sick, but given her wealth and her connections, I don’t expect her to eat her heart out about it anytime soon. Besides, she’d probably only break her teeth and get frostbite all over the inside of her mouth.…